I just wanted to share a testimony about this past year, apologies, it’s another long one. The past year ended up been a period of continued tribulation and yet amongst the storm God and his goodness has been an anchor and I really felt to share it. 

It all started with my laptop, I was in my final year of university and every uni student will tell you that their laptop is their life! After four years with this laptop, one random day in my final year, my water bottle opened and flooded my bag with my laptop inside. I asked a group of people to pray for me as in the past few weeks I had been experiencing a spiritual low and God had felt so far and not having a laptop was the last thing I needed. Feeling the prayers and knowing the power of breakthrough, I attended the check-up appointment for my laptop. After a thorough look, the man informed me that my laptop, despite getting soaked was fine! Praising God because I knew it was nothing but the goodness of God, I headed home feeling encouraged. Tuesday, I woke up and my laptop was in fact not working at all. After more than 6 trips to the repair shop, one failed repair and then also having to miss numerous lessons going to these appointments, my laptop finally got fixed. However, this was just the beginning…

As I said, it wasn’t just one detrimental thing that happened, but it was one small thing after another that just made life feel overwhelming. Uni was busy, church was super busy and then I was also job hunting. My final year of university also ended up being quite a lonely experience, as I had joined a new cohort of students that weren’t very welcoming. In terms of my actual degree, I felt there was no support being provided by my university. Everything felt like a battle. The ethics request required to complete my dissertation kept being denied, and so three weeks before my 10,000 word dissertation was due I was still submitting request after request with little success and no proper feedback being provided, despite me requesting it again and again and everyone else being nearly done and me barely being able to start.  So I was also getting an increasing number of headaches, likely due to the stress. I would wake up some mornings feeling absolutely fine, and then would suddenly get dizzy and throw up. Another day I had an important presentation, I got to the train station to find out that my train was severely delayed. In all my years there has never been a delay this bad, as there were literally queues of people streaming out of the station. There was so much more, but these are just a few examples to help create a picture of the piling situations of chaos and continued tribulation, as I could feel the resistance, and every day felt as if there was something new to deal with and sort out. I remember daily praying to God, because it just felt like a constant attack from the enemy, and I was just totally confused and deflated as I was seeing no kinds of breakthrough. I continued contending for dominion, breakthrough and comfort but never heard God or experienced the things I was believing for.

In this dark time I stumbled across a book called ‘How Can Everything Be Alright When Everything Is All wrong’. I have never picked up and started a book so quickly in my life. This book reminded me about the power of God’s grace, and how His grace means that even when everything is all wrong, because of who God is, we have the assurance that everything will be okay. I knew this and had heard it all before but in this time with all that was going on, it was a divine intervention and a much-needed reminder. I had a re revelation of God’s grace, and how God’s grace allows me to have true joy during hardship, as my tribulations may be great, but my God is greater! I then started studying about tribulations in the bible and I came across Romans 5:3, which talks about how tribulation builds perseverance, perseverance builds character and character builds hope. I daily meditated on that, gaining a godly perspective of this difficult time, determined to deepen my faith and open myself to all that God was wanting to teach me. This changed everything! Joy was restored, as my miracle wasn’t a resolution to my situation but to my mind, as I was now focused on the ultimate miracle that impacts my life - that Jesus Christ came to seek and save a wretched sinner like me, and no matter what was going on in my life, I was going to do my best to praise and serve him. Things in my life did not get better, but my faith with God did. I was now more anchored, so no matter what happened, and much more happened, as there were many more tears and deep pleas for help, but each time, God met me with a supernatural sense of peace. Because only in God, can everything be alright when everything is all wrong.

I do believe that this particular season of hardship is finally over, but I can truly testify, through it all, in his presence I found a fullness of Joy and therefore, am truly grateful for these past months as they further grounded me in Christ and strengthened my faith. 

Since last year, ‘Goodness of God’ has been my favourite worship song, in particular the line “and I have lived in the goodness of God”. It’s a reminder of Gods faithfulness and the extent of his Grace, as I have not ever deserved his Goodness, and yet despite all my wrongs and sins, I have been able to live and experience the continued goodness of God time and time again. Emerging from this tough time in my life, I was reminded of this even further, as I was once again met with God’s goodness and started to finally see breakthrough…

I came to find out that:

1.     I got a 1st in my dissertation

It was hard, and there were days when I had no clue what I was writing but I asked and believed God would go before me and He did. It was only by God that this was possible.

2.     I got a job

Getting a job is hard for graduates, and I got a job from the 1st interview I did after submitting numerous other job applications and seeing no success. It is also more money than what I was specifically asking God for which is also such a blessing.  

God is just so so so so good! It has been a crazy year but I had to testify and give God the glory. I am so grateful that I was reminded of his goodness before my life sorted itself out; because I think too often as Christians we let life’s circumstances affect how we worship and perceive God. Yet true worship, is thanking him right where we are in life and being able to trust in his plan, though the road doesn’t always look clear. There are two main things I want to emphasise through this all. Number one, about the underserving goodness of God. I am no one special, I have done not one single thing to deserve his love and mercy and yet he gives it abundantly and willingly. And number two, the way he can anchor us. Life is so uncertain, but God and His love is not. He is the same yesterday, today and forevermore and in him we have a firm foundation, which is why my favourite quote, which this whole story is a testament of, is that ‘security is not found in the absence of danger but in the presence of God’…